Redding California

Dear Christian Fundamentalists,

Thank you so much for your efforts to implement God's Law in this country. I have learned a great deal from you, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states that such behavior is an abomination.

I do need some advice, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?  Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. Eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10. Is this a lesser abomination than homosexuality?  Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.  How should they die?

8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

9. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

10. In fact, before I simply follow blindly... could you direct me to at least one word in the Bible written either by Christ or the hand of God?

I know you have all studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thanks again.

Frank! That is friggin hilarious!!!

Here is some history about that article at Snopes.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp

I was looking t the questions put to Christian Fundamentalists, whatever that means. I don't know when this understanding came upon me I only know it's the way I live my life now. If Christ was about anything during the short period of time he lives on this earth he was about love and being considerate of the feelings of others. Much of what was written in the Bible was written during a time when so much was done differently. Take slavery for instance, to me it is just common sense that a human being is not to be used to wait on others without being compensated in some fashion. We don't have the right to treat another person that way. The way women are treated in the world to me is disgusting, especially over in Afghanistan and that area, they have no rights at all and are just used for whatever a man wants to use them for. As to all the other questions in that post, just apply common sense and I think you can't go wrong. To me all God's requirements make sense, none of them are unreasonable but I'm not talking about those questions put to people in that post up there.